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“That’s what I like so much about my feet–they’re uniform in shape.

Yours are pretty uniform too, but I fear your pinkies may be a little too small…but not small enough to make me recoil (like that girl in yoga yesterday).”

Field Notes:
I got really lucky with this one. I knew from the start that this would be a good quote, almost instantly in fact. But then it just kept getting better and better. By the time she started talking about my feet, I was already rushing to find some device to record this rare gem.

“I could eat my weight in pickles. They please my mouth like nothing.”

Jill: “That kids face is fucking enormous!”

Me: “…”

Jill: “What? It is! Did I you see it? It’s fucking enormous! I don’t lie!”

“We have to investigate this watercress.”

“I feel so uninspired by my shoes.”

“My intestines feel tender.”

“I think when torturing somebody, start with the thumbs–it’s what makes you human.”

“I suddenly have colon cramps.  Maybe it’s the music.  Maybe I’ve just been listening to the wrong pitch.”

“I’m becoming a polar bear.”

“I feel that I have maligned the bok choy.”